Spitters Aren’t Quitters?

(okay just a warning- this post is a little inapropro. I swear it opens up into an actual life lesson but there’s a lot of dirty talk so if that’s not what your’re into you may want to skip this post my b.)



“I swear to god Meghan, you made me spit out my drink” Quim roared with laughter. I can’t remember what I had said to make him laugh so hard, but at two in the morning, just about anything is funny.

I winked at him, and lowering my voice to a conspiratorial whisper joked, “You know Quim, spitters are quitters.”

The other American, Mike, and I immediately launched into another fit of laughter while Quim and our other Spanish friend, Ines, just stared bewilderedly. After the laughter had subsided, Ines turned to me.

“Spitters are quitters?”, she asked, seeking clarification on this unknown phrase in her non-native tongue.

Mike and I shot each other the same look shared between two adults when a child asks where babies come from. He chuckled nervously, and shook his head, indicating that this one was on me to explain.

“Okay” I began, “so like, you know when someone gives a blow job and the man like, ejeculates? Well people say that as a joke in the US because you’re supposed to swallow it”

Ines’s eyes were wide with shock and a grimace of pure disgust sat upon her normally cheerful face. “Wait, you swallow it?” She challenged, hoping, by some miracle, that there was something lost in the language barrier.

“Well, I mean, I haven’t, because I haven’t ever…” I didn’t need to finish the sentence. After living together for an inseparable two weeks at camp and another one now in their home town of Girona, Ines and Quim knew pretty much everything about me.

“And you have to?”

“Well….you don’t have to. A lot of people don’t. But they say it makes it better.”

With this, we all turned to Mike. He was usually one to share his opinions- especially those about America, or women, or sex.

“Mike,” Quim began, “When a girl does you a blowjob, do you like it when she swallows your man milk?” Like usual, the inflection of his voice made it sound like he was constantly winking at the world.

Mike’s face turned redder than the Pa amb Tomaquet we had been eating with almost every meal. “Well,” he nervously chuckled, “I mean it’s not like something the girl has to do but it’s nice, yeah. For the most part I would say it’s the way to go.”

The look of pure repulsion that Quim and Ines shared in that moment allowed me to stand    in a set of shoes I had never been in before. I live in America with vaguely European heritage. My family follows a mainstream religions, and not much of what we do deviates from western norms. Because of this, I’ve never realized what it’s like for something I view as normal to be ridiculed or judged. I realize that the choice of whether or not to swallow isn’t something that people strongly identify with, but that even furthers my point.

People are different, and what we see as normal are different. In one part of the world  a daily occurrence could be blasphemy in another. So just chill a little, okay? Especially when it comes to sex and relationships, there are so many different traditions and customs within one country that to shame others for how they live their lives is just a waste of time. And for all my American readers here who think we aren’t weird- we are. Men basically bribe women into marrying them with expensive rings. We have an app that people play like a game to find people to hook up with. Oh, and we shame women for not swallowing “man milk”.


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